#!/usr/bin/env perl
use strict;
use warnings;

# A local, deterministic fictional hearing for one ordinary checkbox.
# Reads an optional whole-number seed; writes only to standard output.
my $seed = defined $ARGV[0] ? $ARGV[0] : 0;
die "Usage: $0 [whole-number seed]\n" unless $seed =~ /\A\d+\z/;

my @cases = (
    ["I have read the instructions.", "The committee asks whether reading included the diagram with the tiny arrows."],
    ["I agree to receive fewer emails.", "The committee notes that fewer is a mood, not a quantity."],
    ["This box is complete.", "The committee requests a definition of complete that does not smuggle in optimism."],
    ["I am not a robot.", "The committee cannot accept a denial that arrives already formatted as a test."],
    ["I understand the terms.", "The committee concedes that understand is doing impressive unpaid labor here."],
    ["I accept the consequences.", "The committee asks for one consequence to introduce itself by name."],
);

my ($statement, $objection) = @{ $cases[$seed % @cases] };
print "COMMITTEE FOR THE LAST CHECKBOX\n";
print "================================\n";
printf "Hearing %03d\n\n", $seed;
print "Applicant: [x] $statement\n\n";
print "Clerk: $objection\n\n";
print "Disposition: The box may be ticked. The question remains politely seated.\n";